Have you ever stared at a blank page, an empty canvas, or a silent room and wondered, “Where did my spark go?”
If yes, this reflection is for you.
I’m a writer. I’m good at it. I enjoy it.
Crafting sentences, finding ways to connect with my writer-self — it lights me up, ignites a spark deep inside that bursts into a glorious flame, a beautiful multi-coloured blaze, searing my words into each page.
Until one day, it stopped.
The spark died. The pen was empty. Even as I write these words, I feel numb, tired, drained. I’ve pushed myself for so long, I’ve run out of fuel. I’m depleted. Empty like my pen. Broken.
A dream to make a difference
I had this dream in me — to write something that matters, that makes a difference, that helps and heals. All packed into an adventure — an adventure to the heart. I wrote tirelessly. Now and then, I’d lose my path, ready to put the pen down for good. But the story wanted to be written. Not only that, it became my safe haven, my sanctuary.
When my sister passed, closely followed by my mum, my dad’s grief, my own — cutting deep into my bones — that story, my writing, kept me safe, anchored. The spark remained alive.
The weight of perfection and doubt
I finished my work, proudly sharing it, only to realise I was still not done. After all those revisions and rewrites, more work was needed. Much more work.
The pacing was off. More clarity and character development were needed. All valid points. But in that moment, it wasn’t about that. It was about the story that resurfaced — the story I latched onto — that I wasn’t good enough, my writing wasn’t good enough, and my dream would never come to pass.
I worked with that story, rewrote it. And yet, the spark wouldn’t come back. I picked up the pen and wrote — another story, another article. But the joy was gone. The ink had dried up. No amount of shaking or squeezing could render even a drop of ink that would reignite my light, this joy. Only tears flowed, while thunder whipped the skies, echoes of a heart breaking, my writer-self crying out in pain.
Now I watch the pen move. I see the whiteness of the page. Words stutter to life, but they die as soon as they hit the paper.
I am lost.
Utterly and completely.
The whisper of rest and renewal
And yet, I hear a whisper.
Inside me.
Like a breath, easily missed and yet persistent, always there. The sound comes from the corners of my bruised and battered heart. It carries a message.
“Rest. Breathe. Be.
You will rise again. You will write again.
But first, rest. Replenish.
Allow yourself to grieve, to let go, to heal.
One breath, one moment at a time.”
And so, I rest. I breathe. I grieve — for all that has been lost. My loved ones. My dream.
I give myself grace, and in that moment, I realise I’m not lost, but here — surrounded in stillness, anchored in love.
As I allow myself to let go, a new dream emerges.
Of ease. Of flow. Of joy. Above all, joy. No matter where it comes from.
I am choosing to trust that I am guided, that I am not alone, and help will find me, whenever, wherever.
And it does.
The pen awaits
My pen — it’s humming, waiting.
For when I’m ready. Because it’s never empty, always full.
All I need is to connect with myself, truly with myself, and the words will find me.
Like now.
Daily invitations
If you find yourself holding an empty pen — whether it’s writing, creativity, or any part of your life that once lit you up — know that your spark may dim, but it never truly dies. Sometimes, the greatest gift is the permission to rest, to grieve, and to simply be.
Where in your life might you be holding back because the ink feels dry? What if, instead of forcing the words or the action, you gave yourself the grace to pause and replenish?
What if your heart already knew the way? What if all you needed was to listen? To that whisper asking you to rest — to allow yourself to rest — and with that to heal and trust that your light will return.
All it takes is one breath, one moment. Right now.
And when you’re ready, your pen will be waiting too.
A gift for yourself - to rekindle your spark
Support your journey with this complimentary meditation to connect with your heart and help rekindle your spark.
